Band-Aid Decor
Band-Aid Decor: hanging pictures over holes in the wall… and so much more!
Prioritization means fixing the plumbing, the roof leaks, and the literal holes before even dreaming of remodeling the janky bathroom. Sure, you can live with missing tiles, but seeing them every single time you go to the bathroom* makes you lament your stupid, problematic house, and that is not productive. You’ll get to put in a heated floor and custom-made tile later, but for now, cleverly hiding the problem from yourself and guests is prudent!
Just a few simple decorating tricks can turn a barfy situation into a whimsical, poorly disguised one! It’s far from perfect, but perfect can wait until the actual remodel because this barfiness needs to go.
Band-Aid Decor Challenge: The Upstairs Bathroom. The early 70’s vintage of this room is actually quite nice, however, the layout and level of decrepitness beg for a remodel. Our bathroom was 2 adjacent smaller bathrooms, as in side-by-side toilets separated by a hollow-core door. Disturbed by the idea of being able to hold hands/high five whilst pooping (no judgement if that’s what you’re into), we took out the door and one of the toilets. One extra vanity remains, which we left in place but decided not to re-plumb. Currently, we’re in the process of designing and sourcing materials for our new large, luxurious bathroom. In the meantime, we needed some quick cover-ups to maintain our sanity.
Ready? Let’s hide some problems!
#1. Use what ya got. Don’t go out buying Band-Aid Decor. You likely have just the thing already. That thing you liked but never really knew what to do with has found its calling! Or that gift you had no place for! Band-Aid Decor has to be excessively easy. Plus, you don’t want to love the decor. The Band-Aid must simply be tolerable/mildly pleasant, or you’ll never rip it off (see #3) and the real problem will remain.
This embroidery cleverly disguises the old toilet drain. You don’t want to stare into that dark hole of despair and think about what it’s seen in battle. Bright, embroidered flowers vastly improve the energy of the room!
As for the rug, its raggedness indicates a life fully lived. Once a prominent bathroom rug, then a litter box rug, now nobly serving as Decor Band-Aid before retirement. May we all be so lucky in our golden years!
#2. Embrace whimsy. You’re covering a glaring problem in a glaring way. Acknowledge this fact with decor that says, “I know the sink is broken, but isn’t world culture interesting?!” Whimsy gets noticed. Subtly (e.g. a beige rug over a lumpy floor) makes it look like you’re trying to hide something, which, of course, you ARE so get over it and have some fun! Plus, self-aware design is extra whimsical. High fives all around (though not whilst pooping, again, unless that’s what you’re into).
This African mask was a gift from Eric’s dad from one of his many travels. Before a Halloween party, I snatched it off the wall and put it over the broken faucet so guests would not try to use it. It just happened to make excellent Halloween decor. That was over a year ago and it hasn’t moved since; it obviously works year round.
“Why is there a mask in the sink?”, guests ponder. Good, you’ve got their attention. Visitors can’t help but notice a face that’s staring directly at them while they’re sitting on a toilet. The mask may lead them to think about water access in third world countries (highbrow humanitarians) or Rafiki’s drawings in The Lion King (lowbrow Disney kids). In any case, a distracting, whimsical Band-Aid successfully diverts attention from the real problem.
#3. Know when to rip it off. Once you’ve sourced all your new bathroom features from Craigslist and your Design Band-Aids start to look as gross as the things they’re hiding, it’s time to rip them off! We’ll let you know when we get there with The Upstairs Bathroom…
*I’m not going to cut back on LaCroix just to avoid my ugly bathroom.
